Despair

What a despairing word! I have often thought of  “Despair” as, depression, feeling down, having dread, etc. The meaning of “Despair” according to Webster is; “Without hope, specifically, loss of hope in the mercy of God.”  Hope is another interesting word and Webster has this to say regarding the meaning, “A desire of some good, accompanied with at least a slight expectation of obtaining it, or a belief that it is obtainable.” Hope differs from “wish” and “desire” in this, that it implies some expectation of obtaining the good desired, or the possibility of possessing it. Hope therefore always gives pleasure or joy; whereas wish and desire may produce or be accompanied with pain and anxiety.” How often are my wishes and desires not founded on what God wants but what I want?

In yesterday’s article, “Where is God When it Hurts,” I quoted II Corinthians 4:8, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed.” I often have the feelings of being perplexed,  persecuted (judged wrongly), struck down, abandoned, yet none of it even compares with the same source of these feelings that Paul was experiencing. He was living in the midst of religious persecution because of his faith. Most of the persecution I experience is not from others but from myself. Hmmmm, interesting!    Up until now it seems I have been my own worst enemy, and I so want to blame the devil……or you!

In a recent article I mentioned my friend Isaac Lehr and his passing from this life in his mid thirties due to cancer. Last night I had the privilege of spending some time with his mother, Mary. When her son died I saw the look of despair in her eyes. As we spoke of Isaac I could see a new hope beginning to invade the shadows of the despairing sadness that had been in her countenance. None of us know what it is like to lose a son or daughter unless we have been there. Her feelings of despair and sadness was the price she paid for loving him and caring for him throughout his life. Her feelings of despair have been a normal reaction. Jesus felt despair in the garden when He cried out to His Father for release from “The Cup.” The Father heard Him and I am sure with a compassion that if it could be heard with human ears must have been  be like a million thunder storms of flashing light and sound. He left the cup in His Sons hands to continue to drink from until “It was finished.”  The Son was obedient unto death.

Mary’s sense of despair will not overcome her. She is being healed as I sensed something powerful and wonderful has been added to her life through her experience of Isaac’s death. You see Mary never lost hope in the mercy of her God. Just as Isaac’s cup was lifted and we all cried, “let his cup pass,” Father left it in his hand to finish, Mary’s cup also has been lifted to God until she drinks to the dregs. At the bottom of the cup is life abundant, pressed down, shaken, flowing over to spill out over all those whose lives she touches. Isaac’s ministry on this earth began when he was born but now continues on in a powerful way and in ways we do not see or understand.

Lord, may we all have the grace and sense of your mercy as we also hold our cups and even when we cry out as Jesus did when He said in Matthew 26:39, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” It says he then returned to His disciples, spoke to them and then in verse 42 it says, He went away a second time and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” His will was done, may it be so for us! There are many well meaning folks who are actually praying against the cup, hoping for a miracle to help their unbelief. Peter was one such man as he tried to save Jesus from drinking the cup when Jesus said, “get behind me……” Peter finally changed his mind upon failing so miserably in his denial of Jesus, he repented, turned, faced another direction and placed his own cup to his lips.